Not Fair

Okay, so now it's illegal for teachers to force students to buy books right>

If so, my math teacher told us,"You have to go and buy the [Practice Exam] book."

Doesn't that make it illegal for teachers to say that?

So can I sue her for saying that?

And yes, I hate my math teacher. She's horrible.

Pissed Off

You know what really pisses me off?

I'm going to college next fall, and college requires placement tests.
Just when I think no more SAT/ACT-type tests. BAM! Another one comes along the way.

So, I applied to a lot of Cal States and UCs.
For me, I don't need to take the Cal State placement tests, Yay me!
But....
I do need to take the placement tests for the UCs. Fuck.
But that's not what pisses me off the most.

THEIR REQUIREMENTS.
They need: 680 SAT Writing, 30 ACT English
I got: 670 SAT Writing, 29 ACT English

Do you know how mad I am????
I'm so freaking pissed!!!!!!!!!
asdfghjkl;fdsklahgkdfjasflkk >:((((((

So freaking mad!!!!!!
It's literally like one freaking question for that one point.

I really wanna petition to have a +/- 10 point difference SAT, +/- 1 point for the ACT,
Like in my case, i got a 670 instead of a 680. If there were a 10 point difference, I wouldn't have to take it. :)
Same thing goes for the ACT.

But...

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKJFUIL:KLHLKHLKH!!!!!!
@#$%*!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SO FREAKING MADDDDD!!!!

Remember Me?

Remember Me
09.07.09

i was the girl who never talked
and always knew the wrong ways to walk
rarely late to clssS
and always wondering who that was
never rode The school bus, always in a fuss
i was always hurrying tO get to class
on time, it's not about the sass
why do i feel so?

chorus
do you remember me?
the girl who
you hated, loved, Picked on every time
you never Talk to me, oh that's fine
i always obsEssed with this and that
you never liked me, you'd Always want to bite me
i was always in one Spot, never really talked to others
never tried out for the play, dIdn't have the guts
do you remember me Now?

never had best friends, didn't talk to me much
everyone i encounter Gives me a weird touch
why is it always Me?
i'm always left out in your dreams
You and your friends go out and form your clique
where do i fit in, am I just someone who used to be in your class?

repeat chorus

the girl in the clouds wants to come out
and show people who she really is
i'm not just a girl from your chemistry class
the girl who sits next to you has changed
she is afraid of being in the dark
to come out and show who you are
thinking your ways may not have been your best ways

chorus
do you remember me?
not some random girl from your class,
but me as i really am, not who you think of me
being used to hate me, pick on mE
time to think twice before you see
me as i am and nothing else
not about what everyone thinks

Do you remember me?
I was the forgotten girl
Now I'm about to take over the world

Why?

Why?
07.27.09

Oh, I’m just an average girl
Growing up in a big big world
Wish I could just hide if away and smile
I’m just a girl
Wish I could know about the whole world
Living in a big twirl
Oh, why, why, why?

Chorus
Why can’t I learn about everything?
Form growing up to all the bling
Why can’t I learn how people are?
From making money to becoming great big stars?
Why, why, why? Just tell me why
Why cant I be questioning
How people come from being the next big thing
To becoming who they are, these this work of art
Why, why, why? Just tell me why

I go places I shouldn’t have gone
From going to movies to coming back at the break of dawn
I know, I know I was slow
I was late to class ‘most every day
Is this work and no play?
Just an average day for me

Repeat Chorus
Why can’t I just take a part
In everything from the start
I dunno why, just weird being me
I was fifteen when suddenly
I wasn’t that middle school girl anymore
I’m starting high school, a whole new world
For me, it’s still like you’re the little one in the crowd
Oh, why, why, why?

Chorus
Why can’t I learn everything?
From being cool to all those crazy things
Surrounding me, all though me
Why can’t I just take some pride
In my work and in my life?
Oh, why, why, why?

I’m not gonna know if you won’t understand
Me the way I am and nothing else
Oh, why, why, why?
I’m not gonna show if you don’t tell
That you know about me, and ring the bell
Just tell me

Fourteen

I wrote this around the same time that Taylor Swift’s Fifteen came out. 

Fourteen
05.24.09

It’s the last year at middle school
Some people, some people just wanna be cool
Just soy back and relax, ditching school
Not a smart move
I wanna get good grades, be good till the end
I wanna graduate and stay and be friends
A lot of things going on

Chorus
When you’re fourteen, you dunno what to do
When you’re fourteen, so many things to do in school
Theres graduation, school dances, cutting in line, disobeying
Taking the lead in everything, so it seems
There are so many things to worry about
Getting good grades to graduate
(sigh) Who am I?

I’ve got friends till the end
Some just faded away
School events, I don’t participate
Just the promotion party
What to wear?
Dressy casual.
I look in the closet
Rummaged through NY clothes, made a ruckus
I go shopping for clothes, go to the mall
To see if there is anything at all

Repeat Chorus

I’m an average teenager
Trying to find her my way in this crazy world
Trying my best to get good grades
Working hard, sometimes till eight
I don’t know how
Some people go out and rom about
And still do well in school
But when you’re fourteen, you don’t really know what to do
When you’re fourteen, don’t forget
That it mau be your last year with all your friends

I’ve learnt so much that I may explode
Taking tests, what a load

Chorus
When you’re fourteen, and you don’t know what to do
With your friends, guy problems
At fourteen
Practicing for graduation, so tiring
Just get it over with
Saying goodbye to all your friends
You won’t see them for a year
When you’re fourteen

Real Me

I found this in my computer. Kinda old.

Real Me
Jenny Chan
05.10.09

There are different girls
Living in different worlds
And there’s always different mes
There’s a school me, a rocker me, a queen bee
A wannabe, an actor me, a singer me,
But the real me is very different

Chorus
The real me is who I am
It’s all I can be
Living a life, that’s work, work, work
Having a dream, that’s sing, sing, sing
I’m just like all of my friends
Who love music
But I’m a different me in a way

I try to enter the contests in a magazine
But I never tend to win
I’ve tried to call in to Radio Disney
To request a song
But was never on air
The real me wants to meet my idols
The people I love
Jonas, Miley, Demi, and Selena
So many, yet I’ve never
Been to any concert
Wish I could
That I can’t
Cuz

Repeat Chorus

The real me wants to hang out
After school, but no
I gotta work, work, work
And study, study, study
Hey!
Can’t get my free time
To do what I want?
No cable, watching all the shows on YouTube
As if I could do all of that in a matter of hours
And do all that and Twitter and Facebook too
So much to do

Chorus
The real me is who I am, who I should be
Um caught in a major dilemma
Don’t know what to do
Wanna be the real me, and still wanna be the me who I wanted to be

I am different, yes I am
I can be myself that I am
Th one that I can be
The real me
I just want to be me
The me that I was born with
The me that made me who I am today
The real me

Different Me

I just found this in my computer. I wrote this a few years ago, so it's not that great. Enjoy! :)

Different Me
04.20.09

At school, I study hard, get good grades and take a part
Of whatever club I wanna be in
But at home I sing,
Sing my heart out
And live like a rockstar

Chorus
I rock out, I stay out
I'm a different kind of person
I'm stuck at school which is like prison
But I'm a different me at home
I'm living on my own
Don't wanna be bossed around
Wanna do whatever I want

When I'm all alone
I'm stuck at home
Doing whatever work I have
Why is it me?
I can't
Go to parties, and stay out, do whatever I wanna
But why?
I just wanna be myself

Repeat Chorus

I gotta be good
To stay in school
I listen to takeovers, exclusives
Special Acoustics
But I'm a different me at home
When I'm all alone
I go online
The computer's all mine
On the weekends
But studying, it never ends, it never ends
Every day I practice
Singing, just like this

Chorus
I wanna rock out, stay out
And never have a bedtime
I wanna be like a rockstar
I'm just a different me at home
Alone, in my room
I'm a different kinda girl
I'm a different me

I wish I could have my own
Laptop and phone
Instead, I go to summer school
While everyone else plays in the pool
Getting up at seven A.M.
Just wanting to play with all of them
Wish I could just stop
This mess and make it to the top
I'm just a different me on the outside
But inside I'm still the same
An average teenage girl
Living in a crazy world
Feels so hard to stay in school
Don't hafta be cool
Just study, study, study
It never ends, never ends
I wanna be awesome
And have some fun
Just scream and shout everyone!
We're gonna have some fun
I'm a different me, don't you see?
Living in two different worlds
Having fun, and SHOUT!

#stopthehate

I've been noticing a lot of hate on Twitter directed to one specific person lately: Taylor Swift. Maybe it's just because of the people I follow. I know this is none of my business, but it just kills me to see all this hate. In an ideal world, everyone would get along and there'd be no hate. But this isn't the ideal world. This is real life. And this just happens. Ever since I saw that "I'm breaking up with you, now I'll go make another 2.2 million dollars" quote on FaceBook and Tumblr back when they were dating, I knew there would be even more Taylor Swift hate after they broke up. I saw like five pictures on Instagram of hate picture quotes. Why do people do this? I don't know. Cuz they have nothing better to do. Or maybe cuz they want to. But you can't always get what you want right? This is real life. I posted an entire paragraph on this hate picture on Instagram, and the user deleted it. Why? My thoughts are because he/she doesn't want anyone on Taylor's side because you're a Directioner. But just because you're a Directioner doesn't mean anything related to Taylor Swift. A Direction is a true fan of One Direction; one who will stay by their side no matter what will happen. Those haters of Taylor? Not much of a Directioner, are they? I'm a Directioner and a Swiftie and I respect them all :) Why so much Taylor hate? Not like she did anything wrong. And by wrong, I don't just mean writing songs about her exes. Which by the way, are very clever and witty.

Why so much hate? It's not like they were mean to you. And Directioners who hate Taylor, you're not a true Directioner.

Do you realize that all this hate is called bullying? Yes, haters are bullies, whether you know it or not. So STOP.

This post isn't just for Taylor Swift hate, but other hate as well. I've seen so much Justin Bieber hate.

If you agree, tag #stopthehate with your posts on Instagram and Twitter! We need more love! Hating needs to stop. Hate can't wait. It needs to end, one small step at a time.

We live in a world full of hate, jealousy, and selfishness. We need to make it stop.

Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem 

This was an English assignment. Our teacher had us write a carpe diem (literally meaning "seize the day") poem.

Brainstorming: We were in the same class when you saw me. I was sitting there, enjoying myself, when I noticed you staring at me. Three years had gone by and you’re still the same way. I got pulled into your trap and liked you too. We’re both too afraid to tell each other “I love you”. Why did we waste those three years? Finally, you talk to me. But it’s not about this, it’s bout that. Why didn’t you ask me? Why didn’t I ask you? In a few years I may not feel the same way.

So come on, just tell me. Live While You're Young and drench yourself in teenage love.

The actual thing:

We have just one chance.

I was just sitting there when I caught your glance.

Years go by and you’re still the same.

I went along and played your little game.

Afraid of love, we wasted our time,

Pondering our thoughts,we didn’t let them shine.

Too afraid to approach, we didn’t give love a go,

Time goes by, and we may never know.

Time is ticking away; is there a possibility?

We ponder our thoughts and let it pass by.

Come on, have fun

Will you be the one?

Live while you’re young and free yourself

In this crazy thing that they call love.

Capture the moment, remember it

Play it back a thousand times

But it only lasts while you’re in it.

Scratchwork:

Version 1:
We have just one chance.

I was just sitting there when I caught your glance.

Years go by and you’re still the same.

I went along and played your game.

Afraid of love, we wasted our time,

Pondering our thoughts, we didn’t let them shine.

Too afraid to approach, we didn’t go,

In some time we may not know.

Come on, drench yourself with your thirst,

You ask me, or I shall ask first?

Live while you’re young and free yourself

In this crazy thing they call love.

Go on, have fun, live while you’re young

Take a chance, and make it fun

Version 2:

We live for only so long

Sometimes we wish time would stop

We think, we do, and we dream

We let these things slip away

Version 3:

You live just once

So why let it slip away?

We have our love and hate

We let it go

We have our ups and downs

We don’t think about it

Version 4:
We have just one chance

Time is ticking away so take your stance

We ponder our thoughts and let it be

The clock is ticking; it will never cease

Go on, have fun, live while you’re young

Capture it, remember these moments

We dream big, but live small

I made many version of this. Just thought I'd share it with you.

This is actually true. It happened to me. It's not about him. Guess who?

Tehehe :D

Okay, so since I'm a TA, I do a lot of things like enter stuff into the gradebook.

And when I'm on the gradebook, I like to search the students. 

So, I learned his full name.

And I laughed. On the inside. I mean, seriously, how weird is it for a random girl to crack up in the middle of class?

His full name:

Parker Samuel van Loan :DDDDD

I tried to Google Parker van Loan. And I got something. He was on cross-country at my middle school. And I tried to see if he has a FaceBook, but apparently not. Since I'm TA, I can search for his address and stuff. Ooh-la-la! Haha!
So I was Googling on how to search for a student's information and now I know how. Watch out Parker, here I come!

My Weird Embarrassing Secret

Okay, so I'm a teacher aide for my English teacher. And she has her freshmen English class. So there's this kid who likes me, but I don't like him. And there's another kid who I like and I dunno if he likes me. I'm sensing he does, but hey, what do I know?

But it's so weird. It's like a 4 year age difference. And I'm older than them. Is that weird?

I Knew It

I guess I'm happy? They broke up? I read it on my, well his, FaceBook profile.

I know because I didn't see them together at all today.

Should I be happy?

Scars

Scars (06/14/11)
Jenny Chan

I know I'm not perfect
I'm not some model in some magazine
I know it's not worth it
To try to become someone else and not be me
We all have some things
We don't love about ourselves
But then we look into ourselves and realize
We wouldn't wanna be anybody eles

ChorusWe all have our scars
We've all been burnt
We all have our ways
We've all been hurt
Things are said that aren't meant
We've all been misled
That leaves us with
Our scars

With your friends around
Teasing you all day
Saying you aren't good enough for them
And that you should change your ways
Step back, relax, and enjoy yourself in your beautiful ways
If they are your friends, they wouldn't be so mean, you see?
Cause you're special in a different way

Repeat Chorus

When you look into a mirror
Finding someone really strange
Is it that you see
Strange has become the new perfect
You know you're perfect in many ways

Chorus 
We all have had our scars
We've all been hurt in some way
Our friends say things
That they don't want
We've all been hurt
We're left with our scars

We've all been broken until it hurts
That leaves us with our scars

Live My Dream

Live My Dream

By Jenny Chan

03.22.09

Why am I just an ordinary girl?

Living in a crazy world

Don’t wanna be the one

Who always is shy?

I don’t wanna be the one who’s not recognized

This ain't my day

I wanna go my own way

Chorus

I just wanna live my dream

Like it always seemed to be

Wanna rock out and stay, and party out

And never have a bedtime
Just wanna go my own way

And have my dream-day

Wanna be cool

Don't have to worry 'bout school

Don’t hafta be cool

Don’t wanna always stay in school

But it just so hard

To be a part of something I’ve always dreamt of

I’ve had enough!
I wanna be like Hannah

And live a double life

As a schoolgirl, but also in a differtnt world

Repeat Chorus

Don’t wanna be the girl always laughed at

Or the girl always being teased

Just wanna be a girl

Just an ordinary little girl

Wanna be everything that I can be

Don’t hafta be fabulous, don’t need much bling

Don’t really need everything

Don’t need to be cool to stay in school

Wanna be a girl...

Just an ordinary little girl

Wanna be everything I can be

Don’t hafta be fabulous

Don’t really need everything

But I can start

My own life

But don’t have to

Don’t need to be cool

To stay in school

Just like an ordinary person

Just a buncha friends

Is all you need

To keep you company

Chorus #2

Just wanna live dream

Cuz it’s always seemed to be

Just rock on and party on!

Just going my own ways

I've always wanted to be in theatre arts

And take a part

I’m always so shy

At home, I sing my heart out

But out there I don’t spout

I can't, but I wanna

I just big wannabe

A big wanna-be...

Chorus #2

I've always wanted to do this

Don’t wanna miss this I'm just letting my heart out

And SHOUT!

This is real ME.

I wrote this a long time ago (12?), so it's not that great. 

Free

Free

By Jenny Chan

01.25.09

I’m not made out of rubber

I'm not that flexible

Sometimes I suffer

From all the difficult times that I had

It drives me all mad

To think that I live in a cage

I just wanna be set free

Chorus

I wanna live by myself, on my own

Livin’ on my own

And wanna be free (be free)

Free (be free)

I want everything please

Just joking

Haha...

I wanna be free, and live on my won

Why is it always me?

Who doesn't get what they want

I wanna be famous

Live my dream, live by myself

Repeat Chorus

Why do I always hafta be followed?

Why do I hafta have someone to make sure I do work?

I'm under a lotta stress

My whole world's a mess

Chorus

And I just wanna be free, do anything I want

Wherever I want

Just being free

Makes me so much happier now

Now that I'm free

I had a chance

And so I took the chance

To start all over again

I may not be cool

Just gotta stay in school

To be free

I can express who I really am now!